Taking a break from work…

to bring you this completely accurate summary of Book Two of Elspeth’s Epic Disaster (spoiler for chapter 21)

Lydia: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.  Hrongar, code name Been There, Done That.  J’zargo is Currently Doing That.  Trygve is It Happened Once in a Dream, Elspeth, code name If I Had to Pick a Girl.  Onmund is Eagle Two.

Onmund: Oh praise Talos.


9 thoughts on “Taking a break from work…

  1. Ha! I always see this with Hawke and company. Varric Tethras is always my Happened Once in a Dream. What would I do without my trusty dwarf? I’d cry myself to sleep at night.

    1. I wrote one for Luthein:

      Lu: From now on we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Vilkas, code name Been There, Done that. Farkas is Currently Doing That. Athis is It Happened Once in a Dream, Aela, code name If I Had to Pick a Girl. Njada is Eagle Two.

      Njada: Oh praise Talos.

      And since I rely mostly on Tumblr and fan fiction, until I actually play, Evangeline Hawke’s DA:2 would goes something like this.

      Hawke: From now on we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Fenris code name Been There, Done That. Anders is Currently Doing That. Varric is It Happened Once in a Dream, Isabela code name If I Had to Pick a Girl. Aveline is Eagle Two.

      Aveline: Thank the Maker

  2. Yep, that is usually how it goes in my games. Though Fenris is usually: Maybe we’re not the best example of a stable relationship…” Anders is occasionally: My Hot-headed Revolutionary.

    I am playing through a DA 2 game right now where I rival-romanced Anders, something I’ve never, ever done before because I can never be mean to the mages, no matter what. So I’m a free apostate mage who thinks all mages but me belong in the circle. It’s been so hard because you have to be sort of cruel to a lot of people, but damn if Fenris doesn’t think I’m the bees knees.

    1. I am way more attracted to Fenris, but I think I love Anders more. But you know that’s Kiki’s fault for comparing him to Trygve. When I play, I’ll probably just romance Isabela and then write a story with Evangeline Hawke as a kind of wannabe pirate lady who buys her a ship and they go sailing into the sunset together, pirate queens of my heart.

      With DA:O I have such a hard time maintaining a consistent personality because I sort of start off kind of sassy/mean/disrespectful but then I feel bad so I rein it in. I swear Allistair just gave me the side-eye and was like, “I did not expect you to say that.” He’s so confused.

  3. The only time I’m ever snarky is when I’m romancing Zevran. He appreciates the snark so much. I try to be helpful and courteous to everyone because for some reason it makes me feel bad to be rude. With Hawke, however, I am always the snarkiest, most sarcastic bitch in Kirkwall, and no matter how I try to be diplomatic or hardcore, I just can’t. Even in the face of tragedy and death, she’s like, “le-sigh! Why does everything fall to me?”

    Fenris is really hard to romance as a mage, especially if you’re trying to help mages. He is so anti-magic, he just hates you. By the middle of Act One, he’s following me around snarling, “Hawke…” every time I click on him, and I’ve appalled him so many different times, I’ve lost out on opportunities to romance him even though we don’t see eye to eye because he refuses to get to know me better. But my rogue Hawke always winds up with him and no one else. If I’m planning to romance him, I won’t even flirt with Anders because his stinking Anders puppy eyes ruin me and I am torn.

    The same thing happens with Alistair and Zevran for me too, though. If I’m planning to romance one specifically, I will straight out tell the other one, “NO! We can be friends,” right from the start.

    Sometimes it frightens me that I’ve put so much time and effort into my Bioware romantic endeavors.

  4. It really is. If it wasn’t normal, there’s be less people like us on Tumblr. That’s how I’m going to factor everything in my life now. “if Tumblr says it’s normal, it must be so!”

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